Archive for June, 2013

All systems in the green

June 26, 2013

The latest indications are promising. The meet with DP went well; they’re open to 85% without CCA, at least until year end, then NPL till maybe June.

It’s going to be a really hectic six months! But finally, things are moving. I’m grateful for the accommodation.


Uncover your hidden biases

June 19, 2013


The Hidden Brain documents and explains some key ways in which our unconscious bias, as an evolutionary survival tool seeking comfort, solace, social approbrium, certainty, familiarity and species continuity, is at work in many of the decisions we make and the beliefs we hold. It argues that we need to stop insisting that many of our decisions, choices and beliefs are the outgrowth of a conscious, rational mind and a better way to help us make better decisions is to harness the power of these hidden biases to push us in the ‘right’ direction, however questionable that may be.

Is this why the ancient philosophers surmised that ‘reason is merely slave to the passions’?


Let dreams take flight

June 17, 2013


Stayed up quite a bit last night to finish Sarah Solmonson’s Taking Flight, in which she heartrendingly narrates life before and after her father’s death from an airplane crash in a plane he had dedicated his life to building. It got me thinking a lot about risk, choices, dreams and what happiness in life really means. If you knew your dreams could one day be the direct cause of your death, would you still go through with fulfilling it? Solmonson’s answer is an unequivocal yes. For living emptily, living in small ways, is just another kind of death, only slower, more insidious, and ultimately much much more painful.

Building a cathedral

June 16, 2013

“We don’t want to come to work to build a wall, we want to come to work to build a cathedral.”

– Simon Sinek, Start with Why

I haven’t clicked ‘Accept’ yet, but I believe, deep down in my gut, this is the right decision. It may cost a financial bomb, but as Adama says, “Sometimes you have to roll a hard six.”

I got in

June 11, 2013

The email came Friday.

Now another crossroads beckons.

Just emailed off to ask bosses for approval or a discussion of the next step.

Am loath to give it up, actually. But I am really ready to sacrifice everything to pursue this?

Incredibly hard, but incredibly powerful

June 7, 2013

Like the Mindfulness book suggested, I tried to notice my breathing this morning. I didn’t do the full exercise, but just tried to follow my breathing and feel the sensations, physical and emotional, with each in- and out-breath.

It was quite a…feeling. It takes an incredibly disciplined mind to do what seems deceptively, deceptively simple. Focusing oneself on the present, in the moment, is not easy.

I wasn’t feeling emotionally wretched when I did it. But I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be if one is being thrown around by the swells of emotional turbulence.

In a way, it’s even harder than being in the gym. There, the release of adrenaline gives you a high, maybe helps you to focus on the repetition of motion and your breathing, and clearing your mind of thoughts is arguably easier. Not so when you’re in the stillness of quiet, especially if your mind is racing, racing, trying to figure things out.

Will continue exploring and trying.

Brain gym is training your mind to deal with negative thoughts

June 5, 2013

It’s the hols again. I wish I could say I was better, but that contentment I spoke of in an earlier post has somehow shaded insidiously into an unsettling feeling of ennui and borderline funk. I think I’m coming to the end of my time in The Job. It is meaningful and it is important, but I don’t see myself really cut out for this in the long haul. And I don’t want to be a member of the walking dead, an unfeeling, salary-collecting stiff.

Been trying to figure out why this is the case for the longest time, but so far I haven’t really stumbled upon anything concrete or enlightening. Then I started reading this book on mindfulness which suggests several meditation techniques and how we should not let our thoughts control us but see them for what they are, useful ways to detect and acknowledge our emotional state of being so that we can then decide how we want to respond to it, and not necessarily let them suck us into a vicious circle of self-loathing and distress.

I haven’t tried out the techniques yet, but I am inclined to believe that just like I had to focus on and commit to my gym and diet regime to lose weight, so I need to do the same for this brain gym, if I want to ever control my emotional turbulence and achieve a balance between head and heart.