To stay or go?

And so it really comes down to this.

Second thoughts.

The question is, is it really a case of unfinished business or curtain’s close, time to leave the stage?

Maybe that’s the wrong question.

Maybe the right question is: if you leave, what are you leaving for? If you stay, what are you staying for?

And do the gains from staying outweigh the loss from not?

Will I regret not taking a new route, or will I be forever grateful for the comfort of routine during the necessary period of limbo that the D affair is going to be?

V says, sensibly, that the Masters will always be there. Even 3 years later.

It feels kind of hypocritical to encourage people to chase their dreams while I hold back on mine. Will I be ready to take it up 3 years later anyway? Or will I feel it’s not worth the hassle, let’s just ride the routine out and be happy?

Decisions decisions.

Right now it feels that there is unfinished business. I’m not done with The Job just yet. After all that’s happened, it really is a pity to let those valuable takeaways go to waste. Like I told CM the other day, I know I can do better. It’s not about proving them wrong but proving myself right.

Like the weight loss project was more about showing myself I could do it, if I really tried, given time and patience and discipline.

And I can do it.

So I think I can do this too.

Maybe it’s good that the result doesn’t come out until May. I hope I have an answer then.


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