The overtime-downtime paradox

Finally put in my online application yesterday. Didn’t really plan to at first, because I thought it would require more than it did, but then keying it all in, I thought oh why the hell not. Paid the fee too. So now I’m just left with the essays and the hard copy can go off as well. But I’m having trouble starting on them – it’s like what exactly should I write? If I was giving guidance counselor advice to myself, I would say be honest and show how the programme is the right thing for you at the moment, occupationally and personally. But easier said than done. Now I kind of understand what the kiddos go through, with the exams done and having to do this.

And even though now that everything’s done and dusted, work-wise, I find myself torn between tying up all the loose ends like cleaning and packing my workspace, and slacking around doing absolutely nothing. I’m even dragging my feet restarting the exercise regime. It’s funny how you spend the most part of the year wanting this time of the year more than anything, but when it finally is here you still think it’s a waste to waste the time doing nothing.

I really should get cracking on the essays, even though the deadline’s in March. I need to pack my workspace before works start on the 3rd of next month. Training restarts 7th; so does chaperoning. Oh no what if there isn’t really any real downtime at all? Or worse, what if I really can’t appreciate downtime anymore? Of course, much of what I’m doing is really prep for next year, which will come sooner than everyone thinks and then pretty soon it’ll be May and then July. And then hopefully we begin again.

Oh why do I overthink everything?


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